Seriously though, where does Trevor even go?
voldemort calls harry ‘weak’ while he literally cannot kill a frickin 15 yr old boy. i could kill a 15 yr old boy.
he couldn’t kill a fucking baby
did I ever tell you I used to read the welsh version of harry potter as a kid
"hogwarts’ fast train"
with such loveable characters as
and of course who could forget the four houses
and possibly the most dignified
#poor harry’s just like #I NEED AN ADULT. BUT NOT THIS ADULT. A DIFFERENT ADULT PLEASE.
He may be immortal and indestructible, but there’s no reason you cannot incapacitate him. What Harry often failed to realise is that Voldemort’s physical being is consistently his biggest downfall- so use that as his downfall. Chop that bald snaky dickbasket into a thousand thousand pieces, encase each piece in concrete, and throw some bits in the sea, bury some bits in the ground. No need to destroy him permanently- just make absolutely sure that he isn’t coming back any time soon. He might still be immortal once you’ve chopped him into bits, but as long as his brain’s fairly separated out then he won’t have the intellectual capability to use magic to accio himself back together. Problem solved. Now go attend Hogwarts (but bring a meat cleaver with you for safety).
200 notes and yet you’re the only one that has helped bless u
i wish more harry potter fic would focus on the fact the trio were teenagers in the 90’s think of what we could have
- the muggleborn students bringing lisa frank notebooks to school to the bemusement of the other students only to start a sparkle rainbow unicorn phase
- kids charming pokemon cards with the same magic used to make their photos move dont pretend you wouldnt want that
- a desperate attempt from the teachers to put a stop to the pokemon card game (if one more duel breaks out over that goddamn shining charizard card) which fails because the students just end up charming them to keep the cards hidden
- magical wizards taking advantage of the beanie baby craze and creating toys infused with magical properties - hippogriffs and doxy’s and a whole range of mini dragons that can breathe realistic fire. arthur weasley had to work three weeks straight to calm down the mess that started when muggle collectors somehow got hold of them
- hermione bringing her portable cd player (and large bag of cds) to the burrow one evening to listen to some music while she does her work and having to explain to mr weasley it’s exact properties and function
- harry finding an old tamagotchi in dudley’s old room and givng it to ron for a laugh. ron manages to kill it in five minutes
- skip it vs quidditch arguments in the common rooms (what do you mean you just jump over it wheres the skill in that)
- everyone knows the fresh prince of bel air theme tune, pureblood or not you know it
- magically enchanted pogs (remember herpo the foul? he’s back, in pog form!)
- denim on denim robes
We take Harry Potter very seriously here in Britain.
THESE ARE SO COOL! LOOK AT DRACO ASDFGHKJJL’AS
CAN WE HAVE THIS AU INSTEAD OF THE SECOND HALF OF BOOK 7
BECAUSE I MEAN
Ginny Weasley is a “person of interest in Salazar Opera House arson and bombing.” HOLY SHIT CAN I READ THAT
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